Epic Rap Battles Of History: Episode 31
by KJMusical
Summary: This is my thirty first episode of Epic Rap Battles Of History: KJMusical Edition. This is the Koopalings Vs. the Homunculi. R&R! Don't like? Don't read!


**Author's Note: This is my thirty first episode of Epic Rap Battles Of History. This episode, Ludwig, Wendy, Roy, Morton Jr., Larry, Iggy & Lemmy Koopa (The Koopalings) from Super Mario Brothers Vs. Gluttony, Sloth, Envy, Greed, Lust, Pride & Wrath (The Homunculi) from FullMetal Alchemist. I don't own the characters in the rap battle or the ERBOH series themselves. **

**This is also my first time trying to fast rap (or rap like George Watsky, Snow Tha Product or Eminem), but that's not until near the end. In fact, I'm probably gonna completely suck at it, but I'll let you be the judge.**

**BTW, if you want to work with me on a rap battle, tell me. I'm already working on a project with SSBBFan.**

**And of course, I give all credit to Peter Alexis Shukoff (Aka. Nice Peter) and Lloyd Leonard Alqhist** **(Aka. Epic Lloyd) for creating the Epic Rap Battles Of History series.**

Beat: 'The Collapse' by RedHookNoodles & Sadikbeatz (/watch?v=JUOMIkKgVLo)

Epic Rap Battles Of History!

The Koopalings...

Vs.

The Homunculi!

Begin!

(Ludwig Von Koopa)

First off I'd like to say nice tuxedo Selim Bradley.

As nice as it is, it seriously won't help you sadly.

I'll make your raps dismantled and stuck in chains

You devoured Gluttony for your own selfish gains.

Your weak, especially in your battle with Edward and his allies.

You may be the oldest homunculi but you're definitely not wise!

Unless you want to become my lab rat for my latest invention,

You better retreat, you're not worth my time nor attention!

(Pride)

Ludwig Von Koopa is your name?

I pity Beethoven since you put his name to shame.

I'm the master of shadows, and you're a crazed turtle.

At least you could stop that plumber's hurtle.

Wait? You can't? Oh that's tragic.

You can't stop a fat plumber even with your black magic.

So step down Ludwig before I eat you as well.

Hear that? It's the sound of your requiem bell.

(Wendy)

Ah shut up Pride! That could be YOUR bell for all we know.

It's Wendy Koopa right here, ready to steal your show!

Lets talk about you Lust. About you, I've heard a lot.

You could never beat me, not even by a long shot!

You may be a spear, but you're not ultimate in your gang.

Not to mention, you were the first to be killed by Mustang.

So come on Lust, throw your disses at me if you dare!

What's that? Did I hurt your feelings? I don't care!

(The beat stops as the Homuculi excluding sloth (who is asleep) cover their ears)

(Pride)

"Goodness that voice is annoying, but I suppose I could take you on too."

(Lust)

"No Pride, this a women's fight. I'll deal with her."

(She then walks over to Wendy as the beat starts up again.)

Hello there little girl, I'm gonna teach how a real lady raps.

You think you can faze me with those lyrics? They're crap.

Everyone knows that your style is horrible Wendy.

With that bow and those bracelets, you think that's trendy?

Everything about me is amazing, even in death I'm fiery hot!

With your form and your face, it's better if you just rot.

Now go home and cry to daddy, dear.

Before you get impaled by me, Lust the ultimate spear.

(Iggy then runs up and pushes Wendy out of the way.)

(Iggy)

Leave Wendy alone Lust! Say what you want, she'll never stop

Me and Lemmy excel at rapping, why do you think we're called Hip & Hop?

Now Envy, you'll destroy us with your shape shifting you implied?

Eh, that's kind of a stretch from a Homunculi who committed suicide.

Your powers are cool, I admit, but your cockiness leaves you as a bore

I'll shoot you down like the kid you killed to start the Ishval Civil War

Destroying you is a must, trust me, your demise left you as dust

And our victory's more obvious than your secret crush on Lust!

(Envy)

You claim you're Hip and Hop? but you're more like crash and burn.

It doesn't matter how many times I slap you around, you'll never learn.

You think I'll take that from a lizard with a palm tree for hair?

Then come at me with your little toys, that is if you dare!

Rapping against you isn't even worth my time.

You can't rap, sing or rhyme.

(Envy remembers what Iggy said at the end of his verse as the beat pauses.)

(Iggy)

(Echo) "Our victory's more obvious than your secret crush on Lust!"

(Envy grows angry before finishing his verse.)

(Envy)

You have a small chance now to flee.

You're not leaving? ...I see, LUCKY ME!

(Envy transforms into his dragon form and charges at the Koopalings as the beat stops. But before he can do any damage, Pride turns Envy back human.)

(Pride)

"No Envy, Father told us not to attack any one we're rap battling against."

(Envy)

"What?! Father never mentioned that to us!"

(Pride)

"He may not have mentioned it to you Envy, but he told me about this rule and made sure I enforced this."

(Envy continues to rant and rave as Roy slowly walks up to him)

(Envy)

"Oh! It always goes back to you doesn't it? You're the oldest out of all of us! You should be elderly by now! If Father knew better, he'd put ME second in command! I'd have these little dino-idiots dead in 5 seconds flat or so! Speaking of which, I'm tired of following Father's orders! Why can't we just break the rules at least once in our lifeti-?!"

(Roy interrupts as the beat starts up again.)

(Roy)

Dah! Shut up Envy, ya lil' snubbed nub!

You were voiced by a woman in the English dub!

Now Greed, I've heard you're nicknamed the 'Ultimate Shield'

Well, your Venom-inspired form doesn't leave me appealed

Your avaricious personality is just more than I can bear.

You betrayed & got killed by Father too, no wonder he doesn't care-

about you, I swear, between you & I, I have more malice see?

After this battle, guarantee you won't come back to challenge me!

(Greed then steps forward.)

(Greed)

Someone call Darwin I found the missing link!

Some shade-wearing bug who'll I'll beat in a blink.

You're big but you undeniably not bad.

You keep getting squished, sorry did I get you mad?

C'mon man,show me something, step up your game

Lose the shades and the pink shell and you won't be so lame!

With the way you talk and rap, you sound stoned!

But I guess that's OK, considering you were disowned!

(Roy looks shocked then angered. He then proceeds to charge at Greed, but is held back by Ludwig & Wendy. Lemmy then walks up.)

"Face it! Victory will be ours!"

(Lemmy)

Shut it Greed! Your arrogance has gone on for long enough!

I'd give ya another chance, but you missed your chance to be rough!

(Lemmy turns to Gluttony as he continues.)

Now listen fatso, you can't eat me, so don't even try it!

I'm so tough, you can't even burn me with your acidic spit.

You got consumed by Pride, that's seriously how much you blow!

You don't belong with the Homunculi, you belong with a freakshow!

Need I mention you're a monster in the FMA movie which thrilled but still.

You don't need your Philosopher's stone, what you need's a treadmill!

(Gluttony steps forward.)

(Gluttony)

Ooh! That's a lot coming from a tiny snack.

You're so small and weak, I don't even think I'd have to attack!

I'll eat your siblings for lunch and have you for dessert.

A ball wine and lava dressing should leave you nice and hurt.

On second thought, you already give kids a fright.

With a face like that, who wouldn't lose their appetite?

Your siblings look ripe, release the beast!

Lust, chop them up! It's time to feast!

(Lust unleashes her spears, but they are knocked away by Larry.)

(Larry)

Your time on this earth as rappers has officially expired!

To beat you, Larry Koopa has all the skills that are required.

Sloth, let's face it, you wouldn't beat me if you for once tried.

With that height, you'd be better second in command than Pride.

Though you've grown, you'll easily be overthrown, ya big lazy drone!

And I'll make you sleep permanently like you're next to Father's throne!

One impalement from an earth spike brought your dispersion.

Need I mention you looked like Lust in the 2003 version?

(Sloth is still asleep. Envy then nudges him but he doesn't respond. After he hits him on the arm, Sloth finally wakes up.)

(Sloth)

I'm sorry, did you say something?

Because all I heard was mumbling

Rapping and rhyming is too much work.

But it's clear that you made it much worse.

You're a bore, such a snore, it makes me yawn

Still though, it's no suprise, since you're a pawn.

Looks like I'm done! Since I'm out of your reach

Now go die before I go to sleep...

(Sloth then falls back to sleep.)

(Morton)

I must say Sloth's verse was nothing but a waste of time,

So much it's a crime. But regardless, the time for rapping's mine!

Wrath! Calm down for once! Before you waste up all your power.

You think there is no God? Sure, but my word, is that just sour!

Go ahead, get angry, I don't mind making another enemy.

In 2003, your appearance seemed to be fused with Envy.

I may be young, but my raps are in no way getting littler.

Need I mention you share the same title as Adolf Hitler?

(Wrath)

If you knew what's good for you, YOU'D calm down, Morton.

Unless, of course you wish for your life to shorten.

You will call me Fuhrer Bradley, kid, I'm perfect!

You will learn to respect, protect, and elect me, your reject.

Look at your weight, it makes the ground shake.

I think you need a break from all the magic steak!

Now take your siblings and leave before I crush with my iron fist!

I'm done here, goodbye Koopalings, you are dismissed.

Who Won?

Who's Next?

You deci-!

(Morton)

"Wait a minute, I'm not done yet!"

(Suddenly, a second beat starts up with violins. The Homunculi then look round, unsure what's about to happen. Sloth also wakes up at the sound of rumbling. Suddenly, The Mushroom Kingdom (which was the background on the Koopalings' side) and Father's throne room (which was the background on the Homunculi's side) has lava pouring along the ground, the walls crumbling, floura burning, giving both sides an apocalyptic appearence to them both, similar to Earth in the Zombies mode in Call Of Duty: Black Ops II.)

**Beat: "Psychosis" Dark Aggressive Frantic Violin Choir Beat by Dansonnbeats (/watch?v=zxomYUGo8zs)**

"Thought THAT was the best I can do? Well, I can do better. Big Mouth mode activate. Big breath!"

(Morton takes a large breath in before rapping once again.)

First of all, they call me Morton Koopa, minus all the craze and hoopla

I'll be swoop with this crude, rude & prude disgrace of a Homunculi group-a.

Wanna extend this battle? Play tittle-tattle with us, without a paddle?

Fine, don't prattle as we smash these babies with no rattles like cattle.

We don't waste time when we spit rhymes, we cut your line, like a war crime.

You gotta long way to climb if you wanna get to your rapping prime.

I'm just zealous, fellas-

(Roy)

There's seriously no need for ya to get jealous.

(Ludwig)

We make jaws drop, like a dubstep bass, twist your head 'round till it tops

and pops off, even when we get to the top, guarantee we'll never stop!

Gurantee, you'll be left as a witless mess by the best and our quickness.

(Wendy)

We're the original seven deadly sinners, we're clear winners.

We eat your raps for our dinners and leave you dazed like spinners.

(Lemmy)

We're villains to adore, need we say more? Well, your rap's a bore.

You're insecure, immature and we assure you're all flawed.

It's easy, we win, you lose, a victim of our lyrical abuse.

Your views are misused, what's your excuse? For being so lame

in the rap game, you're all the same, and really who's to blame?

(Iggy)

Them!

You see we mean to be mean, yeah? Beat you 'till ya say 'see ya!'

We strike fear in your hearts, Amnesia and cut you up, Pinkamena!

Think you can beat us? Ya can't! We're more man-

than you, you're deadpan! We'll give you lyrical bans.

Like-.

(Larry)

BAM!

We'll eat ya like ham 'cause we can!

We'll make ya wanna slit your wrists

As we cletch our fists like mentalists!

We insist you surrender. Give up like Slender.

And we'll promise to let you off tender.

(The Homunculi look shocked as the beat stops.)

(Envy)

"We're gonna need some help for this."

(Voice)

"We will help you."

(A gate suddenly appears and the 2003 versions of Sloth & Wrath emerge from it. 2009 Wrath smirks.)

(2009 Wrath)

"Oh, this is gonna be fun."

(He clears his throat as the beat starts up again.)

Why are you still there swine?

Waiting for me to dine and sip wine

Dressed to the nine, better than Calvin Klein

Ain't that sign. There's ther gate and now there's no escape because you're bait.

(2003 Wrath)

How may times do I have to kill you before you die?

I'll stab your eye, skin you,leave to dry.

(Greed)

Why do you cry? Why not die?

(Pride)

We'll blow your mind, leave you blind

Twist and grind your hind.

Sure as hell we aren't kind

I'll spin shadows around you,

Gag you up and bound you.

(Lust)

In your blood I'll drown you.

Your a clown, strike down

Brown crown clown

Dizzy and frizzy

And splat, you're dead.

(Gluttony)

Deep red, left to bled.

Time to eat with bread

As your tried to fled

Leave me to behead

Eat, beat this tender meat.

(Envy)

Meat who cheat, and can't rhyme

Dance like a mime, so much it's crime

More to kill time, spin you on a dime

Sound like a chime sweeter than lime.

(2009 Sloth)

Squish you like a bug, Make a wish because you're like fish.

Flop flop flop... Wait...

(2003 Sloth)

You've no Class your all just trash

You all clash, mash, and bash

With a dash I'll trash and turn your to ash

Now I'll make your crash and smash.

(Iggy)

"Is that a challenge to a fist fight?!"

(2003 Wrath)

"Go on and try us!"

(Both sides walk towards one another to attack. But before a punch can be made, Father & Bowser appear.)

(Bowser)

"Now children, let's not start unnecessary fights with other franchises."

(Father)

"I believe you've been dueling long enough with this prehistoric tool and his kids."

(Bowser then looks at Father, offended.)

(Bowser)

"Excuse me? Was that insult directed at my childeren?"

(Father turns before responding)

(Father)

"Not at all! That insult I made was aimed at YOU Bowser sir."

(Bowser walks up to Father angrily, raising his fist.)

(Bowser)

"Oh! Now you're just asking for it!"

(Suddenly, there's 4 unidentified voices laughing and the beat has stopped. Confused, both groups look around.)

"What the-?"

(Father)

"What's going on?"

(Ludwig)

"Where is the beat?"

(Envy)

"And who the hell's laughing?"

(Mario, Luigi, Edward & Alphonse Elric are then revealed.)

(Mario)

"It was us."

(Alphonse)

"We were the ones laughing."

(Koopalings & Homunculi)

(In unison) "Why?"

(The two groups look at each other. Morton, who's up front, pushes 2009 Wrath back who in return, shoves him back too.)

(Edward)

"Simple, because that part of the stage is very crumbly and loose."

(Gluttony loses his footing and falls over, having Lust help him back up.)

(Luigi)

"And a blast from a POW block will break the section entirely, causing you all to plummet into the darkness below. We're also thankful to form an alliance with Edward & Alphonse before meeting you here."

(Father)

"Now that they mention it, an alliance isn't a bad idea."

(Edward holds up a POW block.)

(Edward)

"It's too late for that now Father."

(He throws it down onto the ground. With a loud boom, the ground shakes and the stage where the Koopalings stand begins to fall apart. One by one, the Koopalings fall off. Iggy falls down first, followed by Larry, Lemmy, Roy, Wendy, Ludwig, Morton and finally Bowser. As they fall, Father laughs at them. However, Bowser grabs Father's jacket and pulls Father down with him. The stage then crumbles where the Homunculi stand. Much like the Koopalings, the Homunculi fall one by one too. The first to fall is 2009 Sloth, followed by Gluttony, Greed, 2003 Sloth, Pride, 2009 Wrath, 2003 Wrath, Lust & lastly Envy. Their screams slowly fade out as they fall. One person can be heard yelling "You haven't seen the last of me!" as he/she falls.)

(Mario)

"Nice work with the POW block Edward."

(Edward)

"Thanks. Destroying the Koopalings is just as easy as destroying the Homunculi."

(Mario)

"Really? You should check out what I do for a living."

(The four turn and walk away, talking.)

Who Won?

Who's Next?

You Decide!

**Cast:**

**The Homunculi: The Pocketwatch Ripper**

**The Koopalings: KJMusical**

**Oh, and BTW, I'm not proud of my first 19 Epic Rap Battles Of History Episodes now as I was when I first wrote them. So, I might go back and edit them. Just an FYI.**


End file.
